Alright, put a finger down if you have ever heard the question, “When are you going to get a girlfriend/boyfriend?” during big holidays like Chinese New Year or Ramadhan.
All of you with your fingers down, I see you, I hear you… because same.
When it comes to romantic relationships, you might have heard of Valentine’s Day, but have you heard of Single’s Day?
The year was 1993, China. In a dingy dorm room somewhere in Nanjing University, four bachelor friends gathered to discuss how to break away from the monotony of singlehood. They chose the date of 11 November as one for the celebration, as the number 1 resembles a bare stick which is Chinese internet slang for a single man who does not add ‘branches’ to the family tree.
And that is the origin story of Single’s Day, now widely acknowledged as being on 11 November.
Now, it has a more well-known name as 11.11, which sees super worth it sales held across retail shops and online platforms.
Seeing that Single’s Day is coming up, we asked our readers in the ConfirmGood community to share about the times that they felt glad or grateful to be single and why.
And here is what you guys told us!
These are their stories, edited for length and clarity.
1. Taking ownership of finances
Being in a relationship means inevitably sharing your finances with your life partner. But what if that life partner just isn’t the best financial planner out there, or worse? Here’s a disastrous case one of you told us.
Glad to be single and free from my ex spouse whom I felt traumatised by thanks to his illegal borrowing issues. Idiot stupidly gave lenders my mobile number to act as his guarantor so when he failed to pay, I was hounded after for money I didn’t even get to use. We were supposed to collect keys to the new BTO but I was so fearful for myself and my children that I decided to divorce him and forfeit the flat and downpayment.
Glad you got out of that hellhole, sister.
Honestly, nothing is more important than self-love and actively gaining XP for character development. And what better way to do this than when you’re single and celebrating it on Single’s Day?
I’m glad to be single because I have a chance to focus on myself and perhaps meet someone better! Context: my ex cheated on me with at least 5 girls throughout our relationship. Realised I loved him more than myself back then and decided I will love myself more than anyone ever can 🙂
That’s super slay of you.
3. Building self-confidence
The only time I enjoy being single is when I can freely flirt and slide into someone’s DMs on Instagram and ask them out. Personally, I love socialising. Every other week is just hanging out with different people. As a guy who is pretty good looking, it feels so f*cking good to feel validated, I would never trade anything else to feel that amazing. You know that feeling where girls get nervous and shy around you, and they want to hang out with you more. But you’re just playing hard to get every single time because you know you are superior ???? And let me just say not many guys have this luxury feeling, only gentlemen and men with class. So just a ‘lil advice for those men out there if you are single and you know you are good looking af. Just go out there and enjoy the single life, Seriously, ENJOY the attention before it’s too late.
I don’t even know what to say for this one, man’s said it all. We stan you living your best life, dude.
4. Absolute freedom
One of the main highlights when celebrating Single’s Day that appeals to many, including myself, is the seductive taste of freedom, as the next two entries state. Imagine not needing to answer to someone else like our reader here below? Liberating.
Just broke up with my boyfriend of five years and I’ve never felt so much freedom before. After my breakup, I was devastated that his reason for breaking up was because he fell out of love. Jump forward two weeks later, my friends sent me a picture of him with another girl and that made me wake up. Ever since then I’ve been doing whatever I want; visiting bars and clubs which he didn’t allow me to before. Meeting all my friends that I couldn’t meet because of his insecurity but overall being single just made me cherish this new found freedom I have.
Spread your wings and fly, you deserve that!
5. Finally dressing the way you want
The time I’m glad to be single is when I can be free without thinking whether my partner likes it or not. I can wear whatever I want without them stopping.
And another message to all, dress only for yourself and no one else.
6. Path to self-discovery
Of course in some cases, sometimes being single leads us to take a more introspective and self-reflective stance. We discover new things about ourselves in these periods, and sometimes those new things are life-changing, like this guy’s.
One time my mother told me to get a girlfriend, so I went to find one. But in the end, not only did I not find one; I ended up questioning my sexuality. This lasted for about 3 months and now I can officially tell you that I am gay.
Must have been a breath of fresh air from that realisation, and away from that musty closet.
7. No obligations to someone else
Some people date because they’re in love, others date to fall in love. If a relationship is a means to an end for you, at least make sure the other person is on the same page. Because when the both of you are not, like in the case of our next reader’s entry, you’re just going to be an a-hole who ended up hurting someone else.
Hearing your ex is with ‘someone new’ a month after your breakup. Ironically, I was the ‘someone new’ previously. People who are hurt shouldn’t hurt others. I am glad I am single, I don’t want to date someone who dates to not feel alone.
The moral of the story is simple: if you’re not ready, don’t do it.
8. Weight management
They say a couple who gets fat together, stays together. So what happens when you’re single? Guess it’s the blatant opposite, summarised in this iconic one-liner:
Helped me lose weight EASILY
Skinny legend who now?
9. Relationship-problems free
One of the most stressful parts of being in a relationship are the disagreements and the tension that follows. When you’re by yourself, there is none of that drama especially on Single’s Day. Unless the drama comes to you from another couple… which was what happened to our next reader.
I was friends with this couple that was bloody irritating. They fight over the most useless thing just because the girl is insecure as hell and the boyfriend is the kind that doesn’t understand basic feelings. The girl is also so stubborn and can’t admit she’s wrong and it’s the same with the guy. It’s to the point they will call me at 2am to settle a fight between them because they refuse to talk to each other. I told them truthfully before that they should breakup because they are clearly not mature enough to handle a relationship but they have legit broken up and patch back over 20 times already. Seeing problems like this really makes me happy that I’m single because I cannot handle a partner as childish as them.
Not you having a job as a relationship therapist that you didn’t even sign up for.
10. Being stable
I cannot agree more with our next entry’s logic.
In a relationship, we cannot control the actions, thoughts, and words of the other person. We can only control that of ourselves. Some of the perks of being single is definitely avoiding inane situations like worrying about the actions of someone else because… well, there really isn’t a point to that.
I had friends constantly worrying about their boyfriend or girlfriend cheating and overthinking things. Which I find stupid because if they wanted to cheat they would have already done so. If they do, then just leave? But seeing them so stressed out makes me happy that I don’t have to worry about all these cause there’s really no point in worrying.
I mean let’s be real, even if you spend your whole day worrying about it, there really isn’t any concrete value to that… is there? So, to heck with it this Single’s Day.
11. Not needing to deal with insecure people
Dropping a text or two to inform someone who cares about your whereabouts is fine, but at all times? Damn, I’m having a stroke just thinking about it. Sometimes, Single’s Day is also just about cutting toxic people out of our lives.
My ex had insecurity issues where he had to know where I was at all times. I have to text him back almost immediately or he throws a fit and starts a fight and I am absolutely not allowed to talk to any guys because that would be cheating. I lost so many friends because of that since I will need to ditch them in order to hang out with him. So glad I left him and now I’m single and happy. Just happy that I don’t have to deal with this kind of BS anymore.
Seeing how big he was on controlling, maybe he was trying to compensate for something else…?
Here in Singapore, it’s not “do you want to marry me?” but “eh, wanna BTO together?” that makes for the final boss of a commitment test in your relationship.
DUDE the number of friends I have who broke up after their BTO down payment is insane. And it’s so scary to think that you finally decided to settle with someone, things will just end. Plus it’s A LOT OF MONEY AT STAKE. So I’m glad I’m single cause I don’t have to worry about this. lol
At least when you’re single, no one is going to bail on you after y’all — I don’t know — invest a freaking house together?
Single’s Day is not just about sales and promotions, it also embodies something more.
As you have heard, here are some of the main reasons you told us why being single is the better option, and for good reason. Thank you all in our lovely community who submitted your experiences via our channels!
After reading all these entries, which do you think is the most relatable for this Single’s Day?
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